Right from the start, I blamed your ex.
How could anyone do this to you? Of course, that’s life. Everyone is sad; people gets hurt; they are jaded, and everybody is bruising at one point of time. As your friend, I got agitated, I was annoyed and upset with your ex even though I have never met your ex before. You have never revealed much about your ex. I could imagine every time someone mention your ex or when you talk about your ex, your heart sank and wrenched a little. Still, you tried to put on a strong upfront whenever that happens. And I salute to that. You would not want to share much, maybe you want to keep that secrecy just between the two of you.
I know you, I somewhat know you. You are stubborn just like me. And perhaps to an extent, I’m jealous. Because your ex is the reason of who you are and what you have become now. The ex who shared and have very much of your every first experiences; the ex who taught you everything and who is the reason you hesitate to get close to people. There must be something really precious that you had given it to her, else it wouldn’t leave you scarred, I pondered.
My friend advised that I should stop reminding you that you are stubborn as this might invoke self-fulfilling prophecy. It went through my mind for a few days, and I thought maybe I should really stop doing that. Then again, that is also another thing I like about you. You need to know, that wasn’t what I really mean, and it has never meant to make you negative in anyway.
Don’t allow your wounds to transform you into someone you are not.
Paulo Coelho, Manuscript Found in Accra
I once read it somewhere, that the purest form of forgive and forget is to let go of your old own and move beyond. Mayhap you should start doing that.
So we beat on, boats against the current, borne back ceaselessly into the past.
F. Scott Fitzgerald, The Great Gatsby